Grievances

by Rolo Tomassi

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1.
Estranged 02:40
Suspend your disbelief A loss or lack of faith In lustful gloom this lurking ache A chase that never stops Attachment reoccurs The shallow ways I'll prove my worth Was your composure compromised? Was your dignity sacrificed? Are you staring in mirrors all smoke, cloak and daggers? Ten years on the run left me damaged and ragged Each moment stark, marked with poignancy I've grown tired of the city and the city's gotten sick of me A boring endless catalogue of apologies Shadow powers of recall, whatever brings you ease Dealing in ignorance, a roll of the dice just to exercise conscience An eternity to repent. Welcome doubt into your home, it's enough to stir the ghosts Invite doubt into your bones, preempting that sting I closed the door and kept the darkness in
2.
Raumdeuter 05:16
Separate me from what creates balance To deserve to be let down What soaks up and sobers? The prison of twilight Peace will not absolve this Cut these cords. Let it unravel Let it flood through every floor Teach me a lesson Build upon my disgrace The unbearable flaws of it all Torrents crash without warning Unlatch from the notion that this is binding Figments strike out in passing To be parched always eternally Here lies what we've feared Just let it pass Take cover from the all seeing sun Bewitched by the glare Let it wash over you
3.
The Embers 03:16
I will not face this retribution I know what's futile It's wicked and reckless Make it discreet Torch it all It's forever faulted and fallen Dawn to dusk, the first and last Entirely tarnished by the past Is it enough? Repulsion flocks beneath the skin The primary cause, consumed but adored To host such passion, but desolate and drawn The falseness of enchantment The fractures in such deep devotion Is it enough? The love and hate, the loyalty Clawing through by the skin of your teeth The love and hate, the loyalty Desire and torment, it’s everything and nothing, this promise of bliss But fractured and brittle, infinite and unconditional An undivided fantasy Which you can't bare to see beneath The host of heaven Swallowed down into this darkness It's no defeat. I t's not enough Sworn to by faith Burning for eternity Infinite and unconditional Sworn to by faith Burning for eternity It's not enough
4.
All of your greatest failures Committed to memory Like the words of a secret Or the sound of a melody
5.
Opalescent 04:42
No measured mark of wit Wisdom or rhetoric could solve this Too fractured to endear Bonds broken, beyond view With all roads leading here Fettered by an endless blue But I held the arrows I pulled the strings And bottled messages Never to be seen But I held the arrows I pulled the strings In fits and starts It can blossom and bloom But I held the arrows I pulled the strings In fits and starts It can blossom and bloom The shot at the moon still falls short of the stars
6.
7.
Stage Knives 03:52
I pulled up the roots just to see I’ve felt differently since about disappearing I placed myself back in the weeds In echoes in alleys I’m reminded (As close to closure as we’ll come As close to composure as I’ve come) I’d immersed myself in beauty And find it all vanishing Empty. Longing and vulnerable Sharpen your knives Neither a pawn nor a king I am nowhere I am nothing For this betrayal that’s how I should be seen Wearing scars I deserve On a throne of nothing Ethereal and haunting The wandering and yearning Characters I’ve kept Plot less and neglecting The architect and monument Neither here nor there Forever elsewhere And so it goes There’s consequence To these vowels and consonants And I came as close to heaven as I’ll come
8.
A wave cascading Our glory fading I felt the world greying
9.
10.
Funereal 04:57
At war within, to suppress everything The more you struggle the deeper you sink Thoughts form in constellations Now emerge composed Nothing is sacred Electrified by hatred Nothing is sacred These threats accumulate Nothing is sacred Purified by hatred Lose and lack control You'll find you ever only reap what you sow Ward off the brightest stars They are primed with tragedy Get a handle on this harmony Get a handle on this harmony Faith is ill advised Relapse is a choice Get a handle on this harmony Get a handle on this harmony I am eclipsed. It's so bittersweet I struggle to draw breath when we are so restricted Observe these passing waves Forgive the missing pieces I struggle to draw breath when we are so restricted In finding the balance now that the weight has shifted And with all my being I know that I don't need this To hear "to be in need is some kind of weakness" I observe spirited loyalty And wonder why this does not apply to me Bitterness has bathed me I feel destruction overwhelm me For we're the loss, follow our slowing pulse Practice makes permanent For we're the loss, follow our slowing pulse I am eclipsed. It's so bittersweet Bitterness has bathed me I feel destruction overwhelm me I am eclipsed. It's so bittersweet
11.
At the end, see this will close with clarity Leave nothing unturned, searching for perfection Let it commence The hold this has on me Strengthened by the permanence of scars We can't be loved as we are Deafened by discontent, I am nowhere The hold this has on me How it orbits the fallen, in this uneasy calm We can't be loved as we are The dull numbness of demise, I let it die To search for the other half in this uneasy calm With this rise and set, shattered sharp misery In the sweetness of these secrets There's structure to this ruin To flee from the other half in this uneasy calm, Hidden in the permanence of scars Disconnected and undone Devastated by these ruins, I am nowhere We can't be loved as we are With the rise and set, I am nowhere I am nowhere There is no glory in the air (Hidden in the permanence of scars) We can't be loved as we are With the rise and set, I am nowhere (The dull numbness of demise, I let it die) This will close with clarity

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released June 1, 2015

Recorded and mixed by lewis johns - www.lewisjohns.co.uk

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